Battleangel

(Or ten things I hate about cinemas) I have to admit that living in Sweden is a bit like living in eastern europe when it comes to cinematic releases. Or on Mars for that matter. Something is definitely broken in the great chain of movie distribution. Most releases get here at anything from one to six months after first introduction on the market. That is not acceptable!

Furthermore, anything resembling a children or animated feature is dubbed and most of the time (like in a smaller city where I live) the original language is not offered. Pathetic! I think that the all powerful movie companies should demand that an original feature should follow a dubbed release, not just in a few major cities but in fact everywhere. Children learn to read at the age of seven and probably understand spoken english (as simplified in animation for example) at 11-12. For people who’d like their pestering little gnomes (read: children) to see a movie I can only say this: Rent/buy the VHS or something. The next time I catch any of you (and you know who you are you noisy little freaks!) at the same feature as I you are going to end up with popcorn up your ass, Ok? Children in the company of adults (constantly explaining the plot) are by far the most annoying thing that can happen to you.

This ranting could go on all day, so, here are the top ten things I hate about going to the cinema:

1. Noisy children in all forms.
2. Audience chattering like monkeys.
3. The lag after the initial release.
4. High air temperature.
5. .. and on top of this overly comfy chairs.
6. Sound excessively high.
7. .. and narrow sound image.
8. Beverage and food items.
9. Ticket price.
10. Dubs.

And now to the important summary of current and upcoming features.

I’d also like to throw in “Reign of Fire” as a wildcard. Decent cast but I fear that this could be another “Volcano”, “Dantes Peak” or whatever, i.e. a bland movie no one really appreciates probably because it has a little of everything and is generally a silly heroic flick that is giving you mental constipation. Dragonslayers .. well, I for one think of Escflowne. I realize that is not exactly what we’ll get. Save the cgi for the live action version of Vision of Escaflowne

And about questionable movies, I can proudly say that I haven’t bothered with neither “Blade 2″ nor “Resident Evil”. I’m not eager to repeat last years fiasco with “Tombraider” *shudder*. Haha. Well, I am embarrassed to admit that I actually saw it. I’ll defend my decision with the fact that Chris Barrie (plays “Rimmer” in “Red Dwarf”) was in it. What a defeat for my optimism and belief in creativity and a win for commercialization.