Battleangel

There were rumours flying around that T3 had in fact been axed. Well, it doesn’t seem that way. Still, the project is risky. Could it ever topple the success of the first two movies? Can the series survive without Linda Hamilton? Can Arnold Schwarzenegger still pose as the T-800?

I mean, sure there will be the usual media circus when the movie is released, and of course the names Schwarzenegger and Terminator will draw a crowd, and it probably will be a decent action flick. BUT, it is also the most expensive movie project ever. The final bill will probably end somewhere between 150M and 180M $. It better be a success …

Except for ‘you know who’ the movie will also feature Kristanna Loken (as the T-X Terminator) and Claire Danes.

I do have a soft spot for robots, cyborgs and androids. I admit as much. There is a fuzzy feeling inside every time. The machines will rise some time next summer.

Projected release date: 16th July 2003 (WORLDWIDE?)

Time for and epic tale of colossal proportions again as Alexander the Great comes to the silver screen. Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio (!). What can I say? Leonardo better get his act together, and be quick about it. I get shivers down the spine when the idea of that sissy boy, playing one of the boldest warlords in history, crosses my mind.

Given the choice of lead actor I am now seriously worried. Is this just another attempt by Hollywood to distort the past. Add romantic entanglement and drama where there is absolutely none. And now Baz Lurhman is involved. Think “Moulin Rouge” and “Romeo + Juliet”. Ugh!

I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of ‘romantic entanglement and similar mushy stuff they can produce given the fact (= historic hearsay) that Alexander was in fact homosexual. Or maybe he wasn’t and rather suffered from impotence brought on by his alcoholism. Believe what you’d like. Hollywood will never get it right anyway. Anyway. History tells us that he loathed women and killed most of his male friends while having unpredictable tantrums. Is that mushy enough for Hollywood? Raise your hands everyone who thinks those rather central details of the story will be covered over and transformed into the gay version of Titanic or Pearl Harbor … aaargh, if Ridley Scott only had taken the assignment …

Projected release date: 2003? (USA)

I have to to say that the Bond franchise is growing thin. With the last movie came an utter feeling of disappointment. Bond #20 (with the equally bland title Die another day) is approaching and I’m not feeling very enthusiastic. Don’t these people ever stop? Sure it’s a zoo of special effects and imaginative chases but what else is there to see? An episode of “The Saint” or “U.N.C.L.E.” can easily equal this multi million dollar farce. Well, apart from the special effects then which are a tad out of date.

No, Bond is certainly no match for the gray matter plot wise. Even “Mission Impossible” with our favorite member of the church or scientology had more essence.

And one more thing that you never thought you would hear me say: It is sexist! Generally I wouldn’t care but it the case of Bond it undermines the credibility of an already incredible story to a level of where it is unbearable. It’s like watching Star Trek if you are a professor in astronomy and particle physics and you really hate sci-fi. Imagine having to endure the endless hours of senseless techno-babble. That is how bad it is. Or put another way, it seems to be targeted at fifteen year old boys. [note: I actually enjoy Star Trek]

Projected release date: 28 Nov 2002 (SWEDEN)

Lord Of The Rings : The Two Towers. Enough said! The first movie was so brilliant and I expect nothing less from this one. Even better is that there is a worldwide release date set, just as with the last movie.

Projected release date: 18 Dec 2002 (WORLDWIDE)

The men and women in tights are back. Yes, I’m talking about X-Men 2. Well, so one of them were actually naked throughout the movie but who cares. I heard a Swedish film critic summarizing the movie with “adults in tights wrestling each other”. Come on, it wasn’t that bad.

For a superhero movie it felt surprisingly human. Some parts of the plot were a bit corny but nothing out of the ordinary if you’ve ever read Marvel magazines. While the first movie focused on Rogue (Anna Paquin), the second promises to place the light on Wolverine and his mysterious past (if you’ve seen the first movie you could probably have guessed that but now it has been confirmed with the studio).

Neither of the bad-guy clowns (Toad and his hairy friend) will be back thankfully. They were cool but lacked any real development possibilities. A couple of new characters will be added but not too many.

As for Mystique I am still a bit puzzled. She was the one character who got really disfigured in the movie compared to the comic. While it is true that she did support the “bad guys” in the beginning she never ran around naked. And blue skin? (Ahh, this is starting out like the rant about comic book colors and the Phantom). Wasn’t she supposed to be a goddess from an alternate reality? Being able to instantly teleport herself and play all kinds of dirty tricks? It is hard to believe she would actually try to beat Wolverine in close combat. Maybe it is a plot thing.

X-Men 2 will circle around a mutant assassin and a military siege on Xaviers estate. Apart from the said Wolverine character dev.

Projected release date: 2 May 2003 (USA)

The stream of comic book heroes never seem to run dry. Hulk is definitely being pulled growling from the stash of bad 70/80s tv series and back up on the silver screen. This time using CG and not some bodybuilder pumped up on steroid growth hormones

This could be fun I suppose, especially since it will follow the trinity set up by Marvel (look at Blade, X-men, Spider-man etc.). What I mean is that the actors will be contracted for three movies unconditionally. The scriptwriters won’t have to try and cram 40 years of comic book adventures into a single movie. With more screen time the plot can thicken and characters can be explained further. (Hell, you can even afford slow motion scenes here and there ;)) Even Dolph Lundgrens “Punisher” could have been transformed into a comprehensible story this way. Well, there is a new Punisher in production so do not fear.

Anyway, with three movies to go maybe we will see a glimpse of the other two Hulk creatures as well (talking about She-Hulk and Harpy) and not just Bruce Banner being stuck in some idiotic situation where he eventually get angry and turns into the Hulk. Hehe. The tv-series never showed Bruce being late for the bus or

One less essential but still interesting note is the use of CG. According to Upcomingmovies the new Hulk is nude (?). A rumour from the CG computer nerd I suppose but still. It kind of practical that in the comic (and the tv series) his pants always turns from blue to purple as he is transformed to the Hulk. In the same fashion they (the pants) always stretch perfectly and never show anything indecent Maybe it is some obscure law of optics and thermodynamics that I never fully understood …

Projected release date: 20 June 2003 (USA)

And Spider-Man II seems well on the way. According to special-fx sources we will be seeing a better selection of villains in this one. Green Goblin is always Green Goblin and while he still is one of the most pesky villains Spider-Man ever encountered in the comic he is kind of boring isn’t he? Compared to HobGoblin for example?

There have been some talk of Doctor Octopus, the Lizard, and Black Cat. Black Cat seems to be ruled out for the moment but who knows. I read somewhere that Stellan Skarsgard had been approached for the role of Dr. Octopus. Wouldn’t that be interesting? Well it seems Stellan has dispelled the rumour for the moment anyway.

It would be difficult to create a sillier design for a villain than the one for Green Goblin.

Projected release date: 7 May 2003 (USA)

Daredevil(The man with no fear) with Ben Affleck. How fun could that possibly be? The dilemma that this character faces is perhaps more interesting than the action. To recap. Matthew Murdock has a typical superhero life with a secret identity. But unlike most others his law-abiding daytime work is a world apart from his nighttime alter ego Daredevil. At day an attorney - at night a vigilante.

Another interesting fact is that Michael Clarke Duncan is cast a Wilson Fisk/The Kingpin. I always figured they would use Danny DeVito and blow up the picture by like 200%

Projected release date: 14 February 2003 (USA)

As for the remake of Punisher, who knows? For some reason I’m not really all that interested.

Projected release date: August? 2003 (USA)

And what about the Matrix sequel(s)? Where are they now? And whatever happened to the scenes featuring Aaliyah? Can the Wachowski brothers reprise the enormous success of the first movie. Well, unlike “Lord of the Rings” these people unfortunately don’t have a fantastic pre-written story to go on. Will their imagination and consistence be enough for two more movies?

Since the Wachowskis seem so influenced by Anime/Manga maybe they should have a go at that after the Matrix trilogy. I would love to see them try Ghost in the Shell or something similar.

Projected release date: Matrix Reloaded - 15 May 2003 (USA)

Projected release date: Matrix Revolutions - Nov 2003 (USA)

Star Trek: Nemesis. Star Trek fans couldn’t be happier. The Romulans are mobilizing and preparing an all out assault on earth. And guess what starship is caught up in the middle of all this? The Romulans seem to have a rather unexpected secret weapon to aid them. Could be the best choice of opposition since the Wrath of Khan. Featuring Ron Perlman, Dina Meyer, Whoopi Goldberg, Kate Mulgrew and Bryan Singer in some of the peripheral roles. You can sort of see how what nerd contest it has become. “A Generation’s Final Journey… Begins”

Projected release date: 13 Dec 2002 (USA)