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LifestreamOk. Since so many out there don’t seem to have clue as to why ICQ has all those fancy status modes I’m gonna break it down for you.
Quite frankly I’m annoyed when people keep sending me a cheerful “hi” and “what do you doing?” when I have clearly parked ICQ in AWAY MODE and set a clear AWAY MESSAGE that clearly hints that I’m sleeping or whatever. What more can I do?
I don’t know about the rest of the world but here is how I think status modes (should) work. If I’m around the computer and really can talk to you I’m obviously ONLINE. If I’m away (sleeping or out) then I’m AWAY and if I’m close by but not guaranteed to be available (like playing games, cooking or whatever) I’m in N/A mode. Simple isn’t it?
As for the rest of modes I don’t use them. Unless I (rarely) get a call in the middle of a conversation and can’t explain that while on the phone. But here is my thoughts on DND and OCCUPIED .. if you’re really that busy then for the love of ***** place ICQ in AWAY or turn it off altogether. No one is gonna believe that you are busy anyway. It’s just a trick to make you look important.
I would very much like to see additional ICQ icons and also have the selection standardized between IM networks. For example, ICQ clearly lacks the “out to lunch” mode from MSN. And why not have “on the can” (“bathroom” for everyone else). That is where we spend a good part of the day anyway. A “sleep mode” would be more than helpful also. So that everyone really understood you were sleeping.
Now .. on to the general IM (instant messengers) rant …
Furthermore, I again find myself flooded by unsolicited (sorry for the choice of words) contacts. Unsolicited in this case is if you can’t think of a reason for contacting me but do so anyway. And then you just sit there and lack purpose.
All of this is too bad because ICQ has been functioning at an acceptable level up until the latter part of this year.
Personally I haven’t added anyone new to the list out of my own initiative in the last 3-4 years. That says a lot doesn’t it. When you’re an analytical person it’s almost hopeless to think of a reason to find anyone on an IM network because you know how astronomical the odds are for finding anyone with half a brain who is even remotely interesting. Practically futile. But I dare anyone to disprove me …
Come to think of it, all those years using ICQ amounted to nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was in essence a completely pointless endeavor. Not to imply that it had any clear purpose but there are still some things you foolishly expect to happen.
For example, I didn’t gain a single friend that I have a more than platonic relationship with. Those that I do have a “deeper” understanding of are those that I have originally met in real life.
I can’t help but wonder how people do it.
And then I realize I was never cut out for this kind of life anyway. I can never expect to instantly connect with someone and feel comfortable just like that. Looking back, every individual I came in contact with in real life was accepted only after some time. It took maybe one - six months before I got used to the stress of having someone else to interact with on an almost daily basis.
The point is that it’s hard to discern who is to blame for the shallowness. Me. The other guy/girl. Or the technology.
I’m a fairly practical person. I don’t see the point of keeping up a behavior that amounts to nothing. A few greetings, some superficial questions about age, profession and hobbies and that is it. IM have become a gigantic bog of platonic relationships of all sorts.
It’s funny because I was talking to a friend a while back. He also had the very same feeling of disappointment. This very small empirical selection leads me to believe that the age of IM is over. The ranks are still bolstered and will increase tenfold yet, but those are new users in an age group between 13 - 20. Those that still have the ability to dream I guess and can’t yet realize the bitter truth.
What is the bitter truth imo? Simply that ICQ and the likes are utterly useless for replacing anything that you can do face to face. While a poor substitute it is also a deceptive one. Theoretically it’s the pinnacle of the wired world, the spearhead of bringing the world closer together. But in reality it is only an illusion. Idiots always say that “anything is possible”. That is because they don’t see the constraints and limitations.
I’m gonna save my more specific thoughts on romantic relationships (so far I’ve only touched the subject in a general way) for another day and I have have but one final reflection. Is it possible that the one-dimensionality of the IM world is combining with first impression theories and spilling over to the real world? I.e. that even when roaming free, the interaction will be just as shallow (because of habit) as it would’ve ever been on screen. And even if you say no and champion that it will change over time, isn’t it also possible that you just become used to the shallowness and are blinded by it? It would explain a lot.
