Battleangel

I haven’t had a nightmare like this for ages. And to be wide awake and still live the dream is rare for me. My sleep patterns must be out of alignment because it was indeed supposed to be a dreamless sleep. It all felt very different. Like some passage from my childhood thrust into the present setting. And it was also then that I last displayed this kind of synaptic disorder.
I cannot relay the dream for it is personal and revealing but I can tell you this. My old self isn’t as purged as I foolishly believed. It all became very clear. Like a simulation of sorts. No one improves. We just suppress our true selves. In a very Freudian sense, they represent the fear of behaviors that are not accepted by society. Behaviors that we must suppress or face the dire consequences. The central problem is that I never dealt with it then. I was weak. But no longer. However, the past and present must never clash or it will be the ruin for me and the poor sods who get it.