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LifestreamVia FARK: Van Helsing - Boring Karloff
Watch as a bumbling Friar instructs Van Helsing on how to use each evil-fighting gadget from a rapid-fire crossbow to a specially equipped Aston Martin DB5 mounted with machine guns and an ejector seat. Didn’t Van Connery already make this movie in 1964?
The Frankenstein monster was assembled from various cadavers, morsels of mythology, and abundant script clichés, then boiled over high heat to remove any trace of nutritional value. For some reason his leg vents steam - much like the ears of anyone waiting in vain for actual thrills and chills from this movie. The monster’s head, meanwhile, is buzzing with electrical activity making him a rarity among cast and crew
Brilliant review 
I guess this movie is off limits now. I didn’t have high hopes to begin with though. Is Hugh Jackman trying to become the next Colin Farrell or what?
I sense this year will be full of hyped half-baked movies like Van Helsing. It’s good to see some things never change in Hollywood. Just imagine what movies such as Around the World in 80 Days and Thunderbirds will be like. Ah, the horror. Makes you wish for more Resident Evil 2 and AvP already. At least a good sci-fi / action has got … sci-fi.
Btw. Still haven’t seen Kill Bill 2 sadly. Since it has now moved down the cinema listing I wont bother. I’ll just wait for the XVID.
See also:
- Metacritic - Van Helsing || RED SCORE
