Battleangel

The “X of shame” and False Authority Syndrome (Boing Boing). Apparently there is a new law that prohibits the wearing of sunglasses and drinking of water when you’re in an airport. Or not, but apparently the TSA and airport staff can make up new laws as they go along.

I raised my hand to my face to remove my sunglasses and stopped. She wasn’t smiling because she was nice. She was smiling because she was suffering from False Authority Syndrome! The poor child. In the most disarming, rational, peaceful, and kind voice at my command, I said, “You don’t need to see my eyes.”

“You have to remove your sunglasses, sir.”

“No, actually, I don’t.”

“I can’t let you past here with your sunglasses on.”

[...]

I almost — almost — said something snarky about how it was cool that he didn’t care about my Swiss Army knife or my Leatherman tool. Instead my reply was, “Oh, yeah, right. Sorry about that.” I reached for the water bottle, saying, “I’ll just chug that now.”

You would have thought I pulled an UZI out of my ass at this point. He literally jumped backwards and told me, “Don’t come any closer!”

I laughed. I did. I couldn’t help it. It was absurd. I looked at the LAPD officer and said, “Is he serious?” The policeman looked at me as if he was very sorry and trying to not laugh himself. He walked a little bit closer towards us but said nothing.

“Dude. It’s water. I’ll drink it right now.”

“I can’t let you do that. You have to throw it away.”

“What? Why? I’m going to drink it. I’ll drink the whole thing. Right now. Right in front of you.”

“You can’t do that.”

Aside from fitting hand in glove with the terror sham, this is also a lesson of what happens when corporations enforce their own laws on property that we have allowed them to keep.